The Golden Ducks vs Clungely County, 08/06/2014

Clungely County 163/5
Allison 2/36
Rodwell 2/37

The Golden Ducks 105/7
Rodwell 29 (26)
Cooper 27 (17)

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

Sunday seems to mean one thing this summer; it’s set to be a scorcher. And this Sunday was no different, with temperatures exceeding an outrageous 26C (hotter than Barbados!). With the boys being cheered on by a lone duckling this week, the skip won the toss yet again, and he did of course continue tradition by choosing to field first.

The opposition this week were the hideously named Clungely County. Facing off against the only other team in the league (and probably one of the few remaining in England) not to have won a game this season, the Ducks sensed something of an opportunity, and Cansick said as much post-match; “There’s no doubt this was a game we were looking to win”. Experimental plans were devised for both the batting and the bowling order (when better to experiment than when you have a chance of victory?) and the boys took to the field in high hopes.

These hopes continued to get higher as Allison and Arblaster bowled a fine couple of opening overs. However, it was time for experiment number one: in came Rodwell for over number three. Things quickly turned sour as the opening batmen feasted on some rank bowling to take 20 off the over. All was not lost though, as Allison picked up his customary (yes, it was clean bowled) wicket in the next over, and in the process, also picked up at least a fiver off the skip thanks to his celebration!

As the opening bowlers finished off their first spells, there was something of a lull in the game as the revolving door policy continued – the next ‘set’ of bowlers up were Cooper, Cansick and Proctor. All bowled tidily enough, although Proctor clearly didn’t do enough to convince the skipper that he was worthy of more than two overs, despite going for less runs in his two than Rodwell did in his first. Proctor was said to be fuming at the decision and it adds another interesting chapter to the simmering rivalry between Cansick and Proctor.

Other than a rather bizarre innings by the opposition’s number three - who would either play and miss, or make Allison chase the ball around a swelteringly hot Clapham Common Oval - the only real moments of note during the middle overs were our characteristic dropped catches. The culprit this time? Cansick. On two occasions. In his defence, one was off his own bowling (so that doesn’t really count) and the other opportunity he had to deal with four guys running towards him screaming.

With the Clungely innings approaching the last five overs, the match suddenly burst into life. Captain Cansick, with plenty of options up his sleeve, decided to go rogue and give Rodwell a fourth, thus setting in motion a series of events that would see innumerable records tumble.

Despite being heckled from the sidelines, Rodwell continued bowling around the wicket and, having already served up plenty of long hops, finally found the yorker length he’d been striving for. What followed was not one wicket, but two, in two balls, both clean bowled! Rodwell, having given no thought to how he might celebrate, opted for the classic ‘Klinsmann Dive’. That marked the first occasion that a Ducks bowler has taken two wickets in a match, and also presented Rodwell with his best bowling figures in a Ducks shirt. Heady times indeed. But this was nothing on what was about to follow.

Cooper (one of four bowlers to post career-best figures, with 1-22), was chucked the ball next and was beginning to look more like the bowler we dread facing in the nets. Nonetheless, not wishing to take anything away from the bowler, but the wicket that fell in this next over was all about Barnie ‘Barn’ Proctor. A genuinely historical moment; our first ever catch (at what must’ve been the 20th attempt) and it was a stunner at that.

Words can’t do the catch justice, but it all seemed to happen in slow motion - Proctor effortlessly glided to his left and plucked the ball out of the air, almost as if he were grabbing an apple from a tree. A couple of seconds of silence followed, as the enormity of what had just happened started to sink in, before there was an eruption of joy and the fielders chased down the jubilant Proctor. Once the celebrations died down, Cooper and Proctor sharing a knowing nod; almost as if to say ‘all is forgiven’ following the run out debacle of weeks past.

This unfortunately brought Clungely’s free-hitting opener back to the crease, and people started to worry, but one man had other ideas about what would happen next. That man wasn’t Allison (who also posted a career-best bowling performance), it was Jonathan James Yarker, who took the most spectacular catch you are ever likely to see. As the ball flew towards JJ, in one smooth and glorious motion, Yarker sunk to one knee and flung his hands directly above his head. People couldn’t watch; was he about to receive another black eye? Alas, no, we witnessed a truly fine piece of fielding as the ball flew into Yarker’s big mits, naturally cuing more wild celebrations.

With the innings wrapping up shortly after this, The Ducks felt positive about chasing 164, especially with Gav ‘Pinch Hitter’ Richards promoted to the top of the order. Could it be?

Unfortunately not.

There weren’t as many exciting moments in our batting as in our bowling, but there were plenty of valiant efforts, and the records continued to tumble.

After a quiet couple of overs to start, the opening pair looked like they were ready to explode into life when fifteen runs were taken off the third. However, this was merely a false dawn, and things never did quite get going. Soon after, despite a bold effort, Richards was clean bowled for 12, attempting to push the run rate.

This brought Captain Cansick to the crease. His innings was similar to Richards’, and after stroking 9 (off 10), he set in motion a pattern that would continue for the rest of the innings – getting caught in the deep after going for a big stroke. Some may call it bad luck, but it was uncanny how often we found the fielders (and let’s not forget, there weren’t that many of them).

Rodwell (29 off 26) was desperately trying to up the run rate, and he thought he’d succeeded with an improvisatory shot down to the long leg boundary. However, he was merely the next to fall in this manner, only actually succeeding in finding the single fielder in a 40-yard radius. At this stage, the match was by no means over, but the run rate was gradually creeping towards 9/10 an over.

With Cooper still at the crease though, there was hope, and he was demonstrating some impressive hitting, including two mighty maximums. Unfortunately, having been taught a thing or two by messrs Proctor and Yarker earlier, Clungely were taking their chances in the field and thus the pattern continued; Cooper (27 off 17) eventually holed out to a fielder in the deep. Prior to Cooper’s dismissal, Proctor had fallen in the same manner, going for a huge shot off his second ball – selfless play from the man who’d earlier made history.

Yarker (9) and Arblaster (7) came to the crease and, with the match all but gone, were given license to play their natural game. The boys on the sideline were treated to some clean hitting and wonderful technique, but naturally the batsmen perished in the same manner as our previous four. All that was left was for Allison to come to the crease, have a bit of fun, and stake his claim for a higher place in the order; he managed a bit of everything in his entertaining 11* (off 10).

The defeat was confirmed, one that was perhaps “all the more frustrating considering our performance in the field was our best of the season. But, as with all our games to date, we have to build on the positives and address the negatives.” An optimistic Cansick continued, “I wouldn’t rule out the idea of a pinch hitter just yet, and the bowling attack did look a genuine threat throughout.” He finished with wise words though, proclaiming how he would “like to have a settled line up and game plan heading into the second half of the season.”

References are dotted throughout the report, but a special mention can actually be given to every player this week: Allison, Cansick, Cooper and Rodwell all posted their best bowling figures; Allison, Arblaster and Yarker contributed with their highest scores of the season; and who could forget Proctor and Yarker, providing us all with genuine moments of joy by taking those two spectacular catches.

Onwards and upwards Ducks, it’s not like we have to face the league’s best bowling unit next week, whilst dealing with an almighty hangover.

Oh wait…