The Golden Ducks vs Dicket, 11/05/2014

Dicket 235/2
Arblaster 1/34
Rodwell 1/56

The Golden Ducks 99 a/o
Cooper 33(31)
Einsmann 24(25)

“You've got to learn to survive a defeat. That's when you develop character.”

As the wind swirled high above the Clapham Common Oval, the young Ducks - looking resplendent in their glorious new kit - eagerly prepared for what was sure to be a challenging afternoon. With the opposition still nowhere to be seen at 14:39, the mood was one of disgust rather than relief; symbolic of the character that is already growing amongst the keen group of lads.

Dicket did eventually show their faces, and after a quick conversation, The Golden Ducks took to the field. As with last week, Allison and Arblaster took the new ball. The 'double-A' partnership, as they have already become known, didn't fail to disappoint. An excellent line and length was exhibited from both bowlers, and sure enough, something soon gave. Arblaster steamed in time and time again, and this time managed to blast a ball right through the opening batsman’s defense to pick up his first wicket. This naturally cued wild celebrations from The Ducks who sensed an opportunity. Was an upset on the cards? In short, no.

Despite a solid team bowling effort – far better than what was on display against TBONTB – the belligerent Kiwis (and Jan Koller) continued to smash the ball to all parts. Our effort wasn’t helped by, let’s just say, some indifferent fielding. Time and time again, the ball went straight up, ‘CATCH IT!’ Yarker would scream. But the result was the same every time. Conservative estimates suggest 6-9 catches were dropped and as a result, we left approx 40-60 runs out there on the pitch.

Nevertheless, spirits remained high and eventually a small reward came in the form of a second wicket, this time picked up by Rodwell, again clean bowled. No finer sight in cricket than a stump cartwheeling out of its plastic base. As a sidenote, our record thus far in the bowling department – 3 wickets, all bowled. We may not get many wickets, but when we do, we sure do it in style. Maybe that’s why we’re scared of catching anyone out.

A special shout has to go out to Richards – to find out you’re keeping only 3 minutes before the game starts, and to then give a performance behind the stumps that Jack Russell would’ve been proud of; it takes a special talent to produce something like that. Also, for our bowling unit – Churchill once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going”, and I think we can safely say they did just that.

Anyway, I digress, Dicket finished on what looked like an unbeatable 235. And thus, the task was simple – find the gaps, keep the scoreboard ticking over, and don’t get out for a golden duck. Cansick duly obliged, and whilst he got out for what all thought was a ‘diamond duck’, I happened to stumble upon this glorious explanation; “A batsman who is captain of his or her team and is dismissed for a duck on the first ball of his or her team's innings is said to be out for a "Kryptonite duck".” Thanks Wikipedia.

As Cansick returned to the sideline, greeted by dancing ducks, Coops meaningfully strode to the crease. He and Rodwell were tasked with building an innings, and after Coops successfully saw out an over from the deadly left-armer, Rodwell decided to take things into his own hands – one of the bowlers dropped short and in glorious slow-mo, Rodwell rocked back and effortlessly hoisted one over the square leg boundary (we’ll ignore the fact it was a free hit). Unfortunately, a few pokes and prods later, and Rodwell was out (14 off of 15), caught again. Before he had even had time to down a lukewarm stella on the sideline, Yarker had also fallen – our first official golden duck. Yarker was obviously too keen to get on the beers.

So, two wickets added to the score (classic Boycott Bingoism) for no runs, and another rebuilding job in order. Richards, cheered on by his WAG, and Coops added a very solid 20 or so, before Richards also perished, caught out, finishing with a solid 8 (12). That brought foreign import, and debutant, Einsmann to the crease. Thus followed an exciting partnership, with Einsmann exhibiting a variety of strokes in his 24 (25) and Coops continued in a similar vein before eventually falling for an excellent 33 (31). The dismissal was officially given as a run out, although no one’s quite sure what happened. A nice moment for the Ducks during that partnership came when Dicket finally dropped a catch of their own, leading to muffled cheers on the sidelines and ensuring the Ducks lived up to their team motto.

The end was nigh and with Arblaster and Allison producing identical innings – 3 off of 5, bowled – the match came to an end and the team could decamp to the boozer, having fallen agonizingly short of 3 figures. With Captain Cansick too distraught to comment, it was left up to Chairman Charles to offer up his tuppence, "Many creases [were] ironed out, but I still wouldn't wear the shirt to a big board meeting." It must be said though; among the positives yesterday were the field placings from Captain Cansick. Numerous times the ball flew high into the swirling air, and there was almost always a fielder there.

Unfortunately, not one of those chances was gobbled by the hungry Ducks.